During our growing up years in college and beyond, there were a few of us who enjoyed “Single” status while some had a Girlfriend/Boyfriend tagging along their respective coat-tails. At any social gatherings among friends, there used to be groups where conversations (always, eventually) veered towards the “significant other” and all the ‘single’ junta would let out a collective groan. Raise your hand if you have been a willing (or unwilling) participant in these soirees.
Then as the singles started playing “Doubles”, the GF/BF types graduated and got married (may or may not to the initial partners they showed off in earlier years!!) and then again in social outings, the doubles would cringe as the married crowd would just blabber about how wonderful their new ‘status’ is. An exercise in strangulation might have been more fruitful, some would argue. I have known a couple who had been a “couple” for years, took their relationship to the next level, were their obnoxious best at parties and stood out like a sore thumb everywhere they went (at least in my eyes).
Later, when the doubles got hitched (by choice or force) (sorry, if you were expecting any naughty connotations like Mixed Doubles – this is a clean blog!!), the married ones completed their post-graduation by proudly displaying their ‘degrees’ (Read: Babies) at social dos and revolving their time (mostly, understandably) and the other non-parents’ time (unwillingly or in some devious cases, purposely) on how the kids can do this and do that. And yet again, the married doubles (sans kids) feel like they have been outdone. These kind of events can either create an unexpected increase in population (9-10 months down the road *wink wink*) or cause reactions ranging from “Never am I going out with them again” or “Promise me, you don’t want kids for the next zillion years” or worst case, “It’s either them or me, you decide”.
I have seen all these stages in my life and by now, have successfully completed my (double) graduation and entered the Exclusive Club zone. While it is a thrill to be a parent now, I don’t want to (by choice) alienate my friends and acquaintances who have not entered this zone (yet) by harping about the kids not sleeping, not feeding, diaper changes, doctor visits etc. and bore them to death while they visit us or vice-versa. Might be a tough thing to avoid when the center(s) of attention are the kids while we get pushed to the periphery.
I don’t know what the next stage of graduation in life is, but sure enough, while the kids grow up and we grow wiser, my hope is that our friends remain as strongly bonded as ever and those not yet in the Club, join us and our predecessors in it (eagerly, of course).
Disclaimer: We had no such intention to one-up as described above, rather it was about time we entered the Club. Just kidding :)
Then as the singles started playing “Doubles”, the GF/BF types graduated and got married (may or may not to the initial partners they showed off in earlier years!!) and then again in social outings, the doubles would cringe as the married crowd would just blabber about how wonderful their new ‘status’ is. An exercise in strangulation might have been more fruitful, some would argue. I have known a couple who had been a “couple” for years, took their relationship to the next level, were their obnoxious best at parties and stood out like a sore thumb everywhere they went (at least in my eyes).
Later, when the doubles got hitched (by choice or force) (sorry, if you were expecting any naughty connotations like Mixed Doubles – this is a clean blog!!), the married ones completed their post-graduation by proudly displaying their ‘degrees’ (Read: Babies) at social dos and revolving their time (mostly, understandably) and the other non-parents’ time (unwillingly or in some devious cases, purposely) on how the kids can do this and do that. And yet again, the married doubles (sans kids) feel like they have been outdone. These kind of events can either create an unexpected increase in population (9-10 months down the road *wink wink*) or cause reactions ranging from “Never am I going out with them again” or “Promise me, you don’t want kids for the next zillion years” or worst case, “It’s either them or me, you decide”.
I have seen all these stages in my life and by now, have successfully completed my (double) graduation and entered the Exclusive Club zone. While it is a thrill to be a parent now, I don’t want to (by choice) alienate my friends and acquaintances who have not entered this zone (yet) by harping about the kids not sleeping, not feeding, diaper changes, doctor visits etc. and bore them to death while they visit us or vice-versa. Might be a tough thing to avoid when the center(s) of attention are the kids while we get pushed to the periphery.
I don’t know what the next stage of graduation in life is, but sure enough, while the kids grow up and we grow wiser, my hope is that our friends remain as strongly bonded as ever and those not yet in the Club, join us and our predecessors in it (eagerly, of course).
Disclaimer: We had no such intention to one-up as described above, rather it was about time we entered the Club. Just kidding :)
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